I cringe to think of the early years of our marriage and how I stood in the way of my husband being the head of our home. My strong personality, coupled with his easy-go personality, were the starting point of what our marriage had to endure from the beginning.
Although I grew up in the church, and attended a private school, the concept of the man being the head of the home wasn’t anything that I really thought about, until I heard about it in a small group setting of women in a Bible study. I remember when I honestly asked myself, “Is your husband the head of your home?” I knew the answer was… ‘no‘. If you are like me, you may be looking for ways to learn how to empower your husband to be the head of your home.
How to Empower Your Husband to Be the Head of Your Home
Once I found out about the Biblical structure of the home, and how God appointed man to be the head of his home, I wanted it with all of my heart. I prayed for my husband to begin to walk in this position, and take over the leading of our family.
I put all the responsibility of this desire on my husband and expected him to change, step up and take control, even without him understanding the concept and what it may look like to him.
I have to admit that this revelation was so important to me that I overlooked how important my husband was to me and treated him so poorly anytime I didn’t feel that he measured up to the picture of what it meant in my mind. I became a silly woman that was tearing down her own home!
Here is what I did when I realized what I was doing, and how I changed my attention to empower my husband to be the head of our home:
- Ask his opinion before sharing mine – I find that when I have respected his opinion before mine that it is close to my own. When our opinions differ, which does happen from time to time, he is more willing to hear my suggestions because I respected his role as the head of our home, allowing him to respect my role as ‘his help meet’.
- Listen longer and speak less – I can’t believe how much I have dominated our discussions in the past. I found that once I let my husband speak more in our relationship, the more we grew as a couple and our desires became more of the same.
- Allow him to make mistakes – I’m giving my husband the privilege of being human, which means knowing he is going to make a mistake, as I do, from time to time. I realized that it is through the mistakes that we both grow.
- Love him when he makes mistakes – When he does makes mistakes, I need to love him through it, as he does with me in my errors. I’m not sure why people think that others are the only ones that make mistakes.
- Allow him to speak for your family when in a couple setting – Years ago, I heard an older woman say ‘when she realized that her speaking for the family was going against her prayers for her husband to be the head of the home’, I started using invisible duck tape when we were around couples that were asking us questions about our family. In holding my voice, my husband found his and that was a huge step in building his confidence as the head of our home. (This was truly one of the hardest things that I had to discipline myself to do)
If you found this post helpful, you may also like this post, How to Rebuild Trust Once It Is Broken…