Raising a son for his own family is different than raising a daughter for her family, at least in our home it has been. Not only do they have different Biblical roles to play within a family, they have different attributes and abilities that strengthen when you put a man with a woman to form a family unique to them.
I shared before that a wise mother of adult children shared with me something that changed the way that I parented. This is what she said to me…
“Parents are wrong; they aren't raising children. They are raising adults.” Tweet
With this wisdom, my parenting took on a different plan. I literally looked at the end to begin to plan the beginning.
Here are 10 Tips to Prepare Your Daughter for Her Own Family:
- Teach Confidence – Confidence is not an easy thing to most girls, regardless of their looks. They often grow up feeling inadequate, unattractive and void of confidence. Building a young girl up from the inside out is crucial in her feeling confident about herself and coming into adulthood with the understanding that she is amazing! Praising her strengths, even if they are weaknesses now (like in a self-willed child), can empower her for taking confidence in difficult decisions and when it goes against the mainstream beliefs.
- Teach True Beauty – Beauty is skin deep. What a statement! If you are raising your daughter to be focus on her outward beauty, without pointing out the beauty that comes from within, you are setting her up for a life of hurt and difficulties. My daughter has grown up with me calling her ‘pretty girl' and telling her how beautiful she is to me. If I didn't also praise her beauty of helping others, writing thoughtful letters and notes, talking with older people and caring for her younger siblings as though they were her own, she may have grown thinking that only outward beauty matters. My laughter is what attracted my husband to me. It was a sound, not a look that drew him to me and that speaks beauty to the ears. Being an encourager is beautiful to many hurting and struggling people.
- Teach Purity – Raising your daughter with purity can be a challenge with today's culture of super models and pop stars luring in what men like and desire most. We have used this verse to empower our daughter to live a pure life and wait for her husband. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8. It has been a verse that we have used for a long time and easily sums up how to conquer the mind and live with purity.
- Teach Submission – This thing called ‘submission' has been under attack for many years by women who do not understand it completely. God has ordained a role for both men and women within a home unit and women are called to be ‘submissive' to their husbands. Submissive doesn't mean slaves or subjected to his ever whim. Submission is a loving spirit that trust in the guidance of her husband's wisdom. Tweet
A young daughter who is dishonoring or disobedient to her parents, will never be able to gain this level of submission that can build a strong, healthy marriage for a lifetime.
- Teach Humility – The Bible teaches that ‘a proud heart stirs up strife'. (Proverbs 28:25) I know that in our own marriage, pride has always been present in one of us when we are having marriage issues. I know so many times my own pride of thinking that my husband was making a wrong decision and because of it I struggled to submit to him in my heart. It is so important for a young girl to be taught humility, so her marriage and her own family can reap the benefits of having such a spirit make their house a home.
- Teach Selflessness – When a young lady becomes a wife, motherhood is a natural things that comes into her mind. Learning to be selfless with her time is crucial to being a good wife and mother, while tending to the cares of her home and family. When a young mother or wife is fussing about losing ‘her time', it quickly takes her joy away for the gifts of a husband and family. Raising your daughters to have selflessness is not easy, but a goal worth implementing and opportunities sought to allow their conscious choice to laying down their own selfish desires for the needs of others.
- Teach Frugal Living – Learning how to be frugal with the money that is available to their family is important from early part of their marriage. Getting tips of saving money, price comparison, cutting corners and looking for clearances and deals, as well as yard sales and consignment shops is really important to the success of their financial success as a family. Learning these on trial and error basis is setting them up for failures that could be avoided and removing one of the main stresses that lead to divorce.
- Teach Time Saving Ideas – Tips of using crockpots, rice cookers, laundry routines, organizing tips and other things that have saved you time and energy are tips that your daughter should learn first hand, before starting her own home. The more she sees how much these tools and tips can save her, the more likely she will be to implement and benefit from them.
- Teach Homemaking – Regardless if your daughter will work out of the home or be a stay at home wife and mother, homemaking skills will be very important for her to succeed with her own family. Implement a chore routine and meal planning early in her life, and get her involved in some of the decisions as she reaches her teen years. Once my daughter got her license, she took over grocery shopping for me and put all of those skills to practice with meal planning and budget living. She was learning how to be successful through her mistakes and accomplishments and have full confidence that she will be able to do this well for her own home.
- Teach a Skill – Even if you daughter isn't interested in going to college, like my daughter, it is important for her to have a skill that can bring in an income. Her future is not determined and a skill may be necessary even if she were to be married and be a stay at home wife and mother. This can be a blessing when finances are tough or necessary for her skill to be put into a plan. Our best example of this is in Proverbs 31.
I hope this has you excited about raising your adult into a successful young woman who will have good things in her future!
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